


Of a cracked hourglass and a broken heart

by monmonggie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, One Shot, Sad love, True Love, Wonkyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 12:26:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16346711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monmonggie/pseuds/monmonggie
Summary: “I want to break this,” He suddenly said.“Hm?”“This. I want to break this,” He opened his hand, revealing the tiny hourglass with the remaining silver grains.Hoseok then threw his head back and started laughing. He smiled so brightly, that for a moment Changkyun couldn't feel sad at all, despite his hard work of stopping the tears from flowing out of his eyes.He laughed together with him, without even knowing how to stop. It was a precious moment, it felt too good.“You know it won't help, dummy.”Way too good.





	Of a cracked hourglass and a broken heart

**Author's Note:**

> It has been 50 years

Changkyun exhaled softly.

“We don't have a lot of time,” He blurted out quietly.

The sky already started changing colors, stains of painted-like orange mixing in the dark thrilling blue.  
They both could see it through the hourglass’ transparent glass. They both knew.

 

Hoseok knew.  
He knew that once the sun sets, their time will be up.  
He knew it was soon.

He knew, but he didn't want to admit.  
He could feel the inner pain threatening to become somewhat physical.  
The word sadness by itself couldn't describe the deep dark hole they both started falling into, the realization of the close loss building a dark steamy-like aura around their two souls.

With a gentle touch, Hoseok captured Changkyun's lips in a relaxed common comfort.  
Their lips came together in a bittersweet synchronization, the taste of sorrow lingering on the tips of their tongues, almost refusing to leave.  
Touching. Sharing it.  
It felt so right, but it was so painful.

“Please don't cry,” Hoseok quietly said into Changkyun's lips, reacting to the sight of the other's glassy eyes.  
He caressed his cheeks gently, moving his thumb in a circular movement. He wanted him to feel safe, to know his touch is his, and will always find its way to his skin, even if he won't be able to feel it.

The younger melted into his lover’s touch, his heart aching at the thought of being unable to express the amount of love he felt towards him. He felt so much. He couldn't describe how much.  
He didn't understand why it hurt so much.

“I won't,” He promised. Forcing his mind to sink the image of the sand in their hourglass finishing its routine, but disappearing forever when they try to set it back.

 

Their eyes locked.  
One look. Heavy breathes. A certain spark.  
They looked at each other in some sort of an unsatisfied hunger, the will to taste every corner of the other's mouth, touching every part of the other's body. Exploring. Awakening all the sensitive senses.  
It felt innocent and real, like the very start of their relationship.  
Young and fresh, free and endlessly.

But bitter.

It was different, disturbed by what made the hunger feel slightly painful. Their kisses salty from the mere thought of tears decorating their partner’s lonely face. It was maybe due to the feeling of a long lost moment.

It was sadness.  
They both felt it, the mutual feeling of fearing the end.  
Sadness. Misery. Agony.  
Because they loved so much.

 

Hoseok’s soft lips slowly found their way to Changkyun's neck, traveling across it, leaving traces while meeting every single sensitive spot. There was no pain. No physical marks. Just the thought, and the warm feeling of protection and love. Sweet true love.  
With his touch staying gentle and caring, he only owned quiet breathes and soft mumbles in return, those who were enough to keep his heart cozy.

 

They stayed in silence for long minutes, peacefully cherishing the moments of being held in the other's arms.  
The warmth of their bodies pressed against each other felt just right. It was real, and they wanted the time to stop so desperately.

In that limited window of time, Changkyun found himself falling in love more and more. With every careful movement Hoseok made, he felt like he was melting, as his heart belonged to an excited thin skinned child. He suddenly wanted it to. To not experience that exact kind of pain.

He let go of Hoseok, taking the hourglass in his hand and locking it between his fingers. The cold glass made his fingers numb, but it was nothing compared to his state of mind.

Only when he looked at the remaining grains, he fully understood how close the hourglass seemed to its end. He worked so hard not to think about losing him, but it hurt. It kept hurting so much. He cried, even though he said he will not cry. Hoseok would have teased him, but his tears joined in fastly.  
One by one, as their bodies moved heavily.

Their next kiss was salty, saltier than those who held only thoughts of loneliness within them. They knew their time was up, and that in a few moments, this feeling of arousal and lust will feel like a long lost dream.  
It bothered him, it bothered the both of them.

“Hoseok,” Changkyun broke the kiss. He felt the itchy feeling of the dry tears on his face, he was certain that he looked like a mess, an unattractive pile of emotions, but in Hoseok's eyes he was always the most beautiful man, even with puffy eyes from crying, and even with a broken heart he wished he had the ability to fix.

“Yes, my lover?” He returned softly, pushing away the remaining tears in the younger’s eyes in a tender movement.

Silence.

 

“I want to break this,” He suddenly said.

“Hm?”

“This. I want to break this,” He opened his hand, revealing the tiny hourglass with the remaining silver grains.

Hoseok then threw his head back and started laughing. He smiled so brightly, that for a moment Changkyun couldn't feel sad at all, despite his hard work of stopping the tears from flowing out of his eyes.  
He laughed together with him, without even knowing how to stop. It was a precious moment, it felt too good.

“You know it won't help, dummy.”

Way too good.

“How can you know? It could lead me to going together with you,” He frowned.

“Changkyun, please,” Hoseok sighed.  
“We talked about this. And you know how much it hurts.”

“I'm sorry, I just love you so much,” His voice deepened while muffling with the cries that kept leaving his mouth unsteadily.  
“My baby, can you try smiling for me?” Hoseok whispered sadly, fighting his own tears.

Changkyun flashed another smile through his tears, closing the distance between them and falling on the blonde male in a tight hug.

“I wish you wouldn't have to leave me,” He trembled in the other's arms.

Hoseok patted his back, drawing small shapes and leaving mellow touches. His heart ached at the thought of leaving him, at the thought of the helplessness on his face taking over his happiness and small sweet dimples.  
He wished from the depths of his heart he could prevent it from happening.

“I don't want to.”

The fragments of orange were now taking over all the remaining colors in the sky, trying to draw hope that couldn't be achieved. It was almost melancholic, and Changkyun knew he didn't.

At the sight of the sun slowly rising, Hoseok’s touch started feeling lighter.

His grip loosened.

Changkyun heavily raised his head, his motion holding a clear heaviness, because he knew.  
He knew that he was now facing the disappearing transparent figure of the love of his life, and a slight dryness started spreading in his throat.

He felt distant, even when he was in his own hands.

It hurt more than he thought it would, and his heart suddenly felt transparent too. He missed him, even though he was still there.  
Because it didn't feel like it, and it broke him. It broke him into so many pieces, that could never be counted, like the little grains of their accursed hourglass.

“I love you, Changkyun.” Those words were painfully carved into the younger's aching heart.

The older’s light felt lips met his soulmate's lips in a final kiss. It felt soft and familiar, yet cold and distant.  
Their kiss was bitter, sweet and salty.  
It had tears, pain, and love. So much love that Changkyun didn't think about picturing how it would feel to let go.

“I love you too, Hoseok.”

But he had to let go.

As he felt the familiar warmth leaving his body, it hit him. His shattered heart kept sinking slowly.

Crying so much felt so tiring, but he couldn't stop. Now that he didn't have him, it became even worse. He wanted him back, so so badly.

He thought about the hourglass in his hand, cursing over and over the concept of time, cursing anyone who had ever dared to say time was endless.

He wished it would stop.

Not now, but when he held Hoseok close to him, and felt like he had the whole world for himself.

He glanced over his hand, refusing to open it.  
The smell and sight of the red liquid staining his arm and clothes then made him realize his hourglass was cracked, as if the mental pain was preventing the physical pain from being present.

He kept thinking about how right Hoseok was when he called him a dummy, because the idiot in him still held a false hope that it would bring them together again, but he could only feel the emptiness crawling deeper into the hole he had left in his chest.

He kept wishing to get him back.

 

He only had his cracked hourglass, and a silver grain of sand instead of half of his broken heart.


End file.
